Laws of the Natural Universe

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get
a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you
know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

11. Sporting Event Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are
furthest from the aisle arrive last and during the most critical time
in the game.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.
20 undercoffers rules if it's not broke dont fix it 2 murphy with undercoffers the worst possable thing will happen to the biggest extream in the worst weather when you are broke everytime
3anything can be fixed with duct tape or a sledge hamer 4 boilermaker lodgic if it wont fit get a bigger hammer 5 if all else fails float test it (throw in large body of water if it sinks works perfectly now if floats throw heavy things on it untill it works